Steps & Storms

This isn't the first time I've had to adapt to being in a very new place for an extended period.  I am finding so many parallels to what I was thinking and feeling when I left for Ireland during my study abroad semester in college.  I remember the anxious anticipation of boarding the plane, thinking of all the possibilities and the kinds of adventures I would have along the way, the people I left behind, and the new friends who were awaiting my arrival.  It was exhilarating in my 20 year old mind, but then reality hit when I actually landed.  I was a stranger in a strange land, and somehow I was going to have to make this work.  I remember being in a frank panic one day coming back from classes wondering how to even navigate the very different European higher educational system.  I totally felt like Peter, absolutely about to drowned among the waves, but thankfully God kept bringing my mind back to the time when Jesus silenced the storm (Mark 4:35-41).  Surely the Lord keeps him in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast on Him (Isaiah 26:3).  I think the story in Mark exemplifies this promise from Isaiah.   

I have been at M'bingo now for just over 2 weeks, and I feel like it has been a relatively smooth transition with a few minor bumps along the way.  Is it because the other missionary docs have been so gracious to welcome me into their family here?  Is it because I've been through these crazy big moves before and each time seems to be preparation for the next? Perhaps a combination of both?  I'm not sure, but I do know that God has reiterated to me the importance of keeping my gaze on Him.  It's when we get distracted, start looking around, feeling our world spinning out of our control that we are filled with panic, and panic is crippling and NOT of God.  Quite honestly, that kind of fear stems from the lie we are buying...that God isn't bigger than all the craziness around us, greater than our storms. 

Another storm hit this past Monday.  It was the first time I was truly on my own in the hospital without the other pediatrician there as my back-up, and it was busy.  I honestly don't know how he has been able to balance everything by himself this past year.  We cover well-baby/NICU, PICU, inpatient pedi, and outpatient clinic as well.  That day I was getting called from PICU for children who weren't doing so great, while NICU was exploding with premature twins, who again, weren't doing the greatest health wise, all while trying to get through rounding on inpatient wards.  And in the midst of all of this, out patients were tracking me down wanting a pediatrician's opinion, medications, evaluations...I felt like I had to be 10 people all at once and I was getting really frustrated...just another moment when I needed the constant reminder to look to Jesus for my solace amidst the wind and waves.  

I'm getting better, better adapted to the new hospital system and the various diseases I've only ever read about.  I'm getting better organized for rounds to help guide the residents and students in their learning.  I am really appreciating the hospital culture that encourages us to pray with our patients.  I try to do this with everyone I'm seeing, It's really fun for me to openly invite Jesus into the healing process for these children and families.  After all, He is the Great Physician, and I only ever saw him do miracles and heal the sick from the accounts of His time on earth, so why shouldn't He do the same now?  We have a beautiful mix of Christians, tribal religions, and Fulani, who are Muslim among our patient population.  I think the Fulani originally migrated down from Northern Africa and the Arabian peninsula but have been in these parts for centuries.  So the fields are ripe for harvest,  I would say.  M'Bingo is really special in that it attracts people from all over, which is a wonderful thing to minister to people and have them go back to their home communities.  Hopefully they only have good things to say about our hospital and keep bringing their family and friends back to see us : )

The past 10 years have culminated with my launch into medical missions.  It's amazing to me how God has ordained every step along the way to prepare me for such a time (Proverbs 20:24).  He has been gracious and gentle all the while stretching and molding me with each phase of transformation into the pediatrician I am today.  Every storm that arises is just His way of calling me back to deeper intimacy, a place of resting in His strength and not my own.  He is truly great, absolutely trustworthy in all things including with my life and the lives of my patients, and you all have been apart of this process because God has placed you in my path to leave your mark on my life, helping me, training, me coming alongside and encouraging me, and I am so humbled and grateful.